JAMES SPRAGENS ANNOUNCES HIS ENDORSEMENT BEFORE A SALIVATING MEDIA CRUSH
It is under not a little duress that I announce my endorsement in the 2008 US presidential election. I was assured by Gen. Powell that he would await my pick before making up his mind, but he has rashly decided to appear on Meet the Press tomorrow to make his choice known.
Poor form aside, I want Colin to know that I still hold him in high regard and will let bygones be bygones. This will come as no surprise to him as he has remarked in in front of witnesses who came and told me many times that I am nothing if not magnanimous.
Colin, if you’re reading this– and I know you will because your Blackberry goes crazy every time I post– don’t worry. I’ll get over this slight. You’ll get yours… on the links, you son of a bitch!
OK, here goes. No more suspense. In the 2008 election to determine who shall govern these United States… drumroll please… I am casting my lot… still with the drumroll please… with the young man from Illinois, Senator Barack Omama! Yay! Fanfare! Fanfare! Fanfare!
Let the pundits argue over the incalculable effect this will have on the election. But, permit me if you will, to offer this: don’t be surprised if the double-digit polling advantage doesn’t hold for Sen. Obama instead of dissipate because Americans are really afraid of black people. When hands might have… oops!… slipped over to the right in the voting booths by accident, maybe now that one of this nation’s eminence gris has spoken, a steadiness will set in and fear will be allayed.
Of course, this loyal citizen would never consider parlaying this political favor into some peachy post in the Obama administration. However, far be it from me to refuse my Commander in Chief should he come a’knockin’. I’ll just say this:
